Post 7 of 30
Warning this is kind of sort of a rant. So I have about 7 different posts drafted all more or less ready to go but more than half of them are fairly negative. I am not sure if this is a side effect of writing every day? Has anyone else made this experience?
When I have been writing over the last days it seems as if this is like a purging tool. The things that come out of the vortex are pet-peeves, frustrations, either with circumstances or my own inadequacies. It is as if Brain decided: whoohoo there is a nice shiny dumping ground opening up into which I can rid myself of annoying rubbish, unwanted feelings, and frustrations. The most frustrating thing about this experience is that I don’t even mean to write something negative. I have an idea about a topic, and yes, some of which are challenges but that doesn’t mean they ought to come out as a moan-fest.
So I am wondering now what else or maybe even who else is living in this vortex of writing. I am also wondering if, after some time of going through purgatory, I will arrive at the bottom of the vortex and my voice will emerge?
Adventures in Academic Development 
I sometimes post, tweet, or tell anyone who will listen my negative opinions on my peers and writing and such. It’s helped me to lose a couple of friends from time to time but a few people tell me that I make a good point. I’m going to try to be a bit more selective without being afraid to piss people off. I want to write fearlessly but maintain my mental health.
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I love your phrase ‘writing fearlessly’ I think maybe I just need to embrace that this is what’s coming out right now?
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Absolutely! It’s not the best way to become popular but then again, a lot of the greatest authors I’ve read were dismissed when they were alive and only famous posthumously. I’m definitely not everyone’s favourite but I’m free.
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For me it’s not that I am dissing anyone, I am more critical of structures, systems etc … it’s just that I don’t actually like how grumpy I sound ***lol
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Well, if you don’t like it or feel like you’re being too harsh on something or yourself, it’s totally fine to try to change that. But if you need to get it out on paper or on your blog, there’s nothing wrong with that. I don’t let anyone tell me what I can and can’t say. Hell, I don’t even play by my own rules, not to mention anyone else’s. Being myself is so much easier than pretending to be someone I’m not.
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I think you are right. The issue is that while I do not like it, it seems to just want out anyway. So I might just as well go through that process.
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Absolutely! I used to be very very negative about myself in particular but, one day, I just stopped and started to really love myself and my work. I also stopped giving a fuck about what anyone else thought about me. I have “Pure Misanthropy” tattooed on my forehead and an upside down cross on my face. Tattooed from head to toe. I get a ton of negative comments but I’m happy that I’m free enough to just be myself.
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